Be My Valentine

Look into my eyes and see the glow
Hold my hands and let’s dance really slow,
Let’s kiss gentle and feel the chemistry.
Rest your head on my chest and listen to my heart beat.

I love you, I love you, I surely do.
I love you with genuine compassion
I love you with noble intention.
It is all in my eyes, I surely do.

Listen to these words from my heart
Though sweet music they may not be-
But I mean every letter I write,
And you’re the only one I want;
My heart aches for you to be my Valentine, today and forever into eternity.


The Pledge

Many things shall fade, but I must thrive.

To where my spirit goes I’ll follow. To where my heart belong I’ll stay. For which my faith thrives I’ll bow. For which my longings crave, I’ll pray. 

I have to let go, things I’d love to hold onto forever
I have to let them stay, the things so much I want to throw away…

Beauty come and pass. Like a leaf once young and healthy, it withers and fall.
Silly romance is for the timid souls, who can’t dare walk alone. Who don’t care what their lives are about.

Where my destiny be, I’ll go without delay.
Fate has no power over my spirit, and fear is for the lazy.

I shall remember this vow and obey; to listen to my heart, to follow my spirit, to walk in my faith.
Many things shall fade, but I must thrive.


I used to care, but not anymore!

I am not intelligent. I am not handsome. I am not perfect…. And I do not care. Okay, I used to care but not anymore. Now I am at liberty to try out all the weird solutions to any problem I am faced with without fear of failure or criticism. And I have just discovered that only the weirdoes are the only ones, in the entire universe, who are truly free. Now I am at liberty to smile at strangers and never be bothered with the way my lips curve. Now I am free. Free to be who I am and live the life I want. Free to chatter new paths and write my own story. Once I used to care, but not anymore.

Last month when I changed my mobile I thinned the phonebook to exactly fifty-six contacts. I know I am dear to a few. I prefer to be alone with my thoughts… And I do not care. Okay, I used to care but not anymore. Now I only spent time with the people who matter and give my attention to those who actually deserve it. And I have discovered that there is a whole world inside of me; a world of poetry, stories, philosophy, sarcasm. A world of happiness. An endless world that is waiting for me to discover.

Much about life is about me, and not the things I care about. I used to care about being the best, and I was wrong. I cared about being loved and accepted by others, and I was wrong. It is about me. It is about the change I can bring, either to myself or to those around me. I do not have to be intelligent. I do not have to be handsome. I do not have to maintain empty and meaningless associations. I do not have to be perfect. I just have to be me. Doing the weird things that makes me happy. Composing poetry about the sunset, about butterflies, about the little things that make everyday life beautiful. I just have to be me, writing my own story. I used to care, but not anymore.


Who is Erick? Is he the 0716…stranger? Maybe…. What is Stella supposed to do? How did she
even know Erick in the first place?

His charm, his lies and maybe his gentle, careful and seductive vibes are now in the past. She had conquered them all and now she was free. Free and happy, except when in a crowded place
and she catches whiff of his cologne in the air; and they come rushing, memories of the warmth
of his arms, the assurance of his smile. How his touch had made her feel safe. How his eyes had
made her feel wanted. She had conquered them all and now she was free. Free and happy, except
when by accident she hears his favorite music play over the radio. And the lyrics remind her of
his promises. And the beats remind her of the one Friday they danced all night, cheeks to cheeks,
his and her body moving in synch; without a care in the world. But, even those tiny details that
still tailed her memories were now dim and fading…. She had conquered them all and now she
was free.

The once ‘dependent’ Stella was now strong and independent. Nowadays she could go to concerts and parties and bars all by herself, without masculine arms around her waist, and still
enjoy herself utterly heartily. And over time she even realized that those masculine arms were
restraining, caging and not necessary for her happiness in the first place. The once naïve Stella
was now experienced, mature and incisive. Nowadays she could put on the dress of her choice depending with her mood in the morning and not what she anticipates some dude will say. And over time she discovered that she needed no praise to validate her beauty, nor applause to feel whole. They had loved each other. And then allover sudden Erick had stopped. Stella continued to love. And then she discovered Erick loved another. That, crushed her. She was devastated. She decided to say goodbye although her ego wanted her to hang on, to keep begging the ‘bastard’, to prove to Erick that she is everything he needs and she can even be more than he needs.

The heartbreak had been painful. Trying to love Erick was even more painful. All those, she had
conquered and now Stella was sweetly single and free. But this evening everything she had built
from the scratch and the person she had become over a year was being threatened by a past she had vowed to forget. ‘Of all the people in this world, why meet Erick again?’ She mused to herself. Five seconds had passed since Erick and other passengers had alighted but Stella was still seated, helpless, on the bus-seat she had collapsed in. She wished she had looked at the “…tunaweza ongea” message, maybe the 0716… Stranger was Erick and maybe she could have
prepared herself for this encounter.

The engine rumbled and the bus threatened to move. Stella hurriedly alighted, still in doubt how
best she should tackle the oncoming war. Oh! So you think to our Stella Erick is simply her ex?
She knew Erick’s persuasive talk would have a charm on her. She knew he will say he missed her, and although her mind would be screaming “go to hell”, she feared that her lips would ask “why did you leave?” A question which would not only give him an opportunity to explain
himself, but also a chance for him to come back to her life. This was a war she was determined to
win, because she had won the first round. She was strong, but not prepared. She knew what to
do, but not how to do it. And as she look the ‘meek’ Erick who was waiting for her outside in the
face, she whispered to herself her favorite Celine Dion’s line, “you’re the bravest of souls.”

“I have missed you Stella. Really, you look amazing.”
‘I knew the bastard will start with this line.’ Stella thought to herself and inwardly smiled at the
accuracy of her strategy. That was the first sign for her that this was her battle, she would finally
‘That is because I was a princess you couldn’t handle, only myself could.’ She wanted to retort
back but changed her mind and said, with an even tone, “Thank you. Now be to the point. Or
better still, we can save ourselves some valuable time by not having this conversation.” Judging
by the wrinkles of puzzlement that formed on his face when Stella ended her statement, clearly,
Erick was already off the balance with this new Stella.

All the plans he had formulated in the bus, when Stella was lost in her own world, of how the conversation would go down thawed at the attitude of this new Stella. Erick searched his brain for something to say and finally landed on, “nikubuyie lunch lini (when should I buy you
lunch)?” Although lame and meekly said, he had to say something all the same because the prolonged silence and Stella’s poise was slowly intimidating him.
“Why do you want to buy me lunch? Erick, can I ask you a question? And this once, be honest
with me.” She knew she had already weakened his defenses, now it was time to disguise her final
blow in a cloak of hope. Already plan-less, there was no way he would turn the conversation to
his advantage. Besides, it looked to him like Stella would give him an opportunity to explain
himself. He just had to follow her lead.
“Go ahead, ask.”
“What was I to you?”
“My first love. Someone very special.”
“Do people do what you did not me, to people they call ‘special’?” she asked with all the disgust
she would place on the word ‘special’.
“I was young and stupid. Do you know I was afraid of losing you?” He replied pleadingly as he
look Stella in the eye. A wicked smile played momentarily on Stella’s lips for two reasons. First,
the thoughtless reply by Erick gave her a chance she had been waiting for. Second, it made her
sick to hear Erick claim that he was afraid of losing her. She decided to close his chapter in her

“You played me with another. So really, it is hilarious to hear you say that you were afraid of
losing me. If you were young and stupid, then what you felt for me was infatuation. This
exchange is kind of boring and I have places to be and things to do. Goodbye.” She said with
finality and turned, set to leave.
“Stella!” Something genuine in Erick’s voice made her turn when he called.
“Did you love me?”
“My answer would not change anything.”
“I know, but just tell me”
“Yes, I did Erick. I loved you.” She looked down for a moment. There was silence between
them. Then looked Erick in the eye one more time. He wanted to say something but she did not
give him a chance. She walked away, triumphantly.

She was at her door, exhausted, fumbling for her keys when the call came through. 0716…
“Shit!” Stella cursed under her breath.
To be continued…


Daisy’s Story. In many ways she was more beautiful than the flower she was named after, she passed on before blooming. 😢

Once again, the night is cold and the heart longs for a warm love story. Once again we are together, just the two of us. Once again I can see the eagerness in your eyes, and any attempt to create suspense by delaying Daisy’s story is absolutely unnecessary. And so, while your ears are attentive I will narrate of a love which once was, but now is no more.

She was involved in a road accident. Daisy passed away on the spot. Some people think, whenever calamity befalls, that it is consoling to say, “Everything happens as per the Lord’s
plan.” They told me that too, and I found nothing consoling about it (I still do). When I was
young, adventurous and a little mischievous, I fell from a tree I’d been warned severely severally
not to climb and broke my left arm. In pain, lying on the hospital bed, I overheard one of my
visitors tell my mom, “Don’t worry, he will be fine. It was God’s plan.” When Stacié my
neighbor’s last-born flopped her national examinations and her ego to slay and update her online
friends was seriously damaged, she was distraught. Her mom pampered her with ‘It is God’s
plan’ line. When reckless driving, on 6th of September 2015, ended my Daisy’s life…
kwaniiii??? do they think God is a monster?

At that time I was in my last term of High School and I really wanted to perform exceptionally
well. Our affection for each other was a great motivation. All that this boy wanted to do was to
excel in his academics so that, as the scripts in Kenya reads; go to a good university, do
medicine, get employed and then give her a life of her wildest dream. I wanted to make her
happy, I really wanted to, because she made me happy too. I tell you, we were perfect for each
other. And sometimes when I remember her and the days we spent in each other’s arms, me
think, perhaps we were too perfect in a way that even the heavens did not expect.Since I did intend to fully concentrate on books in preparation for my finally exams, I wrote her
a poem in the beginning of third term;


There is a place of longing and fear
In my heart belonging to you dear.
To love and hold, and be with you near
To live and smile, till all storms clear.
And forever into the coming years.
There is a longing in my soul, I alone can’t bear-
And so hold my hands love; in tears, fears and cheers.

I wrote this poem 4 u, hope u enjoy. We‟ll talk more after K. Luv u 2 the moon n back. 😉
Dedix; Nothing‟s Gonna Change My Love
Yours in Love Forever,

I then folded the poem in a nice envelop; hand-made from white photocopying ream, perfumed
it, kissed it and then sent. I knew she would understand that a Fourth Form is busy.

When Koru Girls, her school, came for a C.R.E symposium in our school and her reply was not
among the piles of letters delivered, I was not worried because I knew she had understood that a
Fourth Form is busy. I did not inquire of her whereabouts from her friends who came, and up to
now I still don’t know why I didn’t. Life went on. Doing my best to balance between missing her
and studies. Life went on. Then, in the middle of the term our school organized a ball games
tournament. Their school was invited and confirmed their attendance. Phew! At least I will get to meet her before I start my papers. She was the School’s Table Tennis team captain, I was sure
she was to come.

They say time is slow for those who wait, which is true and it will do me no good to dispute. But
after eternity, after eternity of struggling to keep my patience in control and sanity in check, the
day arrived. I out did myself in preparation. I was sure, not even a single doubt in my mind, that
on that day I would gaze into her eyes and fall in love with her again. I was sure, not even the
thousands possible outcome of life could bring down my anticipating hope, that on that day I
would touch her and feel the fire all over again. I was sure. I had prepared to receive her. I had
planned fun activities for us. I was waiting.

I remember I was the first person to be seated in the dining hall where Table Tennis matches
were scheduled. Actually, I had to offer to help in cleaning and arranging the place first. But that
did not bother me; my important mission was to ensure I clinched a middle seat where I could
see her in action. Watch her control the ball and the racket, and sometimes her opponent. Her
body burning with passion. And when, maybe she will miss the ball and desperation threatens to
show on her face, I’ll shout her name above the cheering. She will hear my voice, and I know
for a moment forgets about the miss and the match. Turn to my direction and smile; her lips
forming just the perfect curve, in a brief bliss of affection.

Their school’s team was among the first to arrive. The hall was almost full with anxious spectators trying to get seats when I saw a friend Daisy had introduced me to enter the hall.
Finally she is here. I quickly looked over her friend who was making her way towards the center of the hall and fixed my eyes on the entrance, inwardly counting seconds. One, two, three, four,
five… maybe she is still held up in the bus, probable changing into her jersey.
”Mambo, Dismas?” I heard a lady’s voice right in front of me, and it turned out she was Daisy’s
friend who I had seen enter the hall. For a moment I hesitated trying to remember her name, then forced a smile and murmured, “Eeeh!?”
“Oh! I am Stacy. Daisy‟s friend” she said and then quickly added, “Do you remember me?”
“Sure, I do remember you. Daisy introduced me to you sometime back. Where is she by the
way?” At this question, she remained silent for a second, her expression drastically changed to
pale and I immediately sensed that she was having a hard time choosing her next words.
“You didn‟t hear? Daisy never reported this term. She was involved in a road accident, she
passed away…” She passed away. She passed away. Her last phrase played on my mind
repeatedly as I try to decipher their meaning. And finally when I realized that she had used them
like in the everyday life to imply death, loss of a loved one, end of love, my whole world came
down. I feared she would add “it was God’s plan” line and so I stormed out of the hall.

I have never been devastated like I was that day. I have never questioned life before the way I
did that day. Let me admit it, I cried myself through-out the day. In the evening I went to the gate
to wave their school bus goodbye, imagining she was leaning on the window, smiling and
waving back. That night, feeling all alone and broken I acknowledged and wrote it down; like it
is always meant to be, love always and will forever end in loss. It is the only night in my life I seldom talk about and I am glad you were here to listen to me.

You know at first I was wrong about you. In more ways than I can repay or count, you have been good to me. I never though someone would listen to Daisy’s story and feel with me, more so someone like you. Next time when we meet again, and the night is cold and the heart longs for a warm love story, I promise I would not talk about her. The candles will be glowing; the
fragrance of Egyptian perfumes lingering in the air and you will be by my side. We will talk
about love, maybe ours?

You’re probably wondering how I met Daisy,  right?  Click here to read the first part of this story and find out more. 😁

When We Still Loved…

I guess i should’ve said my goodbyes…
When sweet smile still lingered your lips
When memories of the love we yearned for was still warm
When rose was the symbol of love,not its thorns
When you liked red dress for Valentine,
When my hands were still itching to caress your waist
When your heart was still beating with the rhythm of mine,
When nights were longer, colder and darker without you by my side
When we still communed in silence.
When the mornings were fair, and the music flair.
I should have said my goodbyes…
When we still craved for each other,
When love was still all we knew.

Written on this day last year.  Happy anniversary my beautiful poem 😂😂